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How Sherlock faked his death…

According to two very caffeine-addled and sleep deprived college students with nothing better to do.

And yes, I realize this is just a TV show but I’m trying to avoid filling out scholarship applications and this seemed the best way to accomplish that.

Cheers.

Ok you guys.

So last night — at around 1 in the morning mind you — one of my university friends and I decided we wanted to watch all of the 2nd season of Sherlock together… Via Skype.

It took 5 hours, 2 pots of coffee, and a bag of Hershey kisses to finish all three episodes.

In our sugary/caffeine delirium we decided that we were going to solve the mystery of how Sherlock faked his death.

Here’s what we came up with:

Sherlock shook hands with Moriarty.

It explains everything.

Ok, ok. Let me rewind.

So as we’ve seen in previous episodes Sherlock is a bit of an ass.

He ignores people. He doesn’t shake hands with people. In a matter of fact, he goes out of his way just to avoid making such contact with people.

So why the fuck did he shake Moriarty’s hand?

Well, let’s think back. Who was the last person Sherlock willingly shook hands with? (John does not count).

Let me give you a clue…

That’s right. Irene Adler.

And why did he take her hand?

He was checking her motherfucking pulse, that’s why.

So that leads us to the question…

Why would he be taking Moriarty’s pulse?

Answer:

He fucking wasn’t.

He was letting Moriarty take HIS damn pulse.

Yes, yes, I know. It’s all very complicated, but stick with me.

As we saw earlier in episode, Sherlock knew that there was a good fucking chance he was going to die. His conversation with Molly made that very clear. He was ready to die.

Or at least to appear as if he had died.

Any bells ringing yet?

Ok. Let’s go back to the lab scene where Sherlock was oh-so-cleverly deducing the elements left behind by the kidnapper’s boot.

  1. Asphalt
  2. Brick dust
  3. Chalk
  4. A glycerol product (from chocolate)
  5. And fucking vegetation


That vegetation is later identified by Sherlock as Rhododendron Ponticum.

Let’s take a closer look at the uses of Rhododendron Ponticum, shall we?

What was that? An overdose from the honey of the fucking Rhododendron Ponticum causes hypotension and bradycardia?

Hmmm. And what about these Grayanotoxins motherfuckers? What the hell do they do?

Let’s take a closer look…

So.

In essence. We have a BAMF flower whose honey can (hypothetically) make a person appear dead.

But how does this fuckery tie in with Sherlock shaking Moriarty’s hand?

Ok. Stay with me. Let’s rewind just a teeny bit further.

Remember the conversation between Sherlock and Moriarty directly before they shook hands?

It was that really intense moment when Moriarty and Sherlock were just staring at each other and generally being creepy as all fuck. In that moment Moriarty saw something in Sherlock that scared the fucking shit out of him and made him admit that Sherlock was his equal… And then blow his brains out.

And you know what that was?

It was Sherlock’s fucking eyes, that’s what it was.

See for yourself.

Now, either it was bright as all FUCK outside or Sherlock was experiencing something known as Miosis — or the constriction of the pupil.

You know what can cause Miosis?

An overdose of motherfucking Rhododendron ponticum, that’s what. (and yes, I am still aware this is just a TV show. But quite honestly 2 AM Melissa does not give a single fuck)

So Moriarty got suspicious and he was all like, "What’s up with this crazy motherfucker and his freaking eyes?" and then he understood.

And he took Sherlock’s hand to check his pulse.

ONLY HE DIDN’T HAVE A PULSE! (DUN Dun dun)

No, but seriously. Since Sherlock had been planning to fake his death the whole time (as seen in his earlier conversation with Molly), he had ingested a shit ton of the Rhododendron ponticum prior to his little roof rendezvous (symptoms usually set in within 3-6 hours of consumption, depending on the amount/concentration/etc). As such his pulse was WAAAAAAAAAAY below what it should have been.

So imagine Moriarty’s surprise when he realized Sherlock was ready to “die” in order to take him down. Sherlock was willing to let society think him not only dead, but a fraud — all so that he could focus on taking down Moriarty.

Sherlock was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice — giving up his name, his loved ones, his life — and Moriarty couldn’t handle it. Sherlock outsmarted him.

So Moriarty did the one thing he thought would force Sherlock’s hand.

Now as far as how Sherlock survived the fall itself…

No clue.

I mean, the symptoms of Rhododendron poisoning include the slowing of the circulatory system so I guess he wouldn’t have bled out as easily and that would’ve kept him alive long enough to get help from Molly… But other than that I have no clue.

Maybe he had help from the homeless network? He said they were especially susceptible to bribes…

Does this make sense?

It does to me.

But that’s not saying much.

DISCLAIMER: I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. THIS ENTIRE POST IS THE PRODUCT OF TWO OVER CAFFEINATED, SLEEP DEPRIVED MINDS. THANK YOU.

TL:DR - I need sleep.

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